One year ago, I began this blog. Exactly one year ago, I wrote this entry. I read it just now, and thinking about where I was one year ago baffles me. BAFFLES me. I had just finished junior year. I didn't know what I wanted to do college-wise, and now I'm going to UCLA. I was annoyed with people in my life, and now I'm grasping at my friendships and wishing we just had another year together. I was having boy troubles and typed a little invitation to dating that began a long and still-winding spiral with a guy that I'm now close to friendship-wise. I am over that guy I talked about in my post a year ago, and now we are great friends with zero awkwardness (in fact, I told him on the first day of senior year about my feelings for him... FULL CIRCLE).
But some things don't change. I was still excited for my bright future. I was still in love with my family like never before. I was still so thankful for my friends.
Summer is beginning right now. I had my first rehearsal for Sweet Charity today, came home exhausted, ate, dozed, and watched random episodes from random seasons of Will & Grace. Tomorrow, I see a dear dear DEAR friend I haven't seen in a long time over breakfast, memorize my Charity script, and probably go to the gym with Christina.
Today, I did have frustrations. Frustrations with myself, my body, my friends, etc. I did send a curt text message or two for immature reasons like yogurt. I was annoyed with people not wanting to be with me when I was feeling mildly vulnerable. But I came out of today with this:
If you ask for help, you might get it. If you don't ask, you won't.
So you, who received text messages about yogurt, I guess that was me asking for help in a really bad way. I was feeling weird today and I wanted to talk to you about it.
I guess I'll try to sleep again now.
"Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend."
- Albert Camus
