I'm moving to tumblr. Sorry Blogspot. 


See you there! :)
http://calfasinspired.tumblr.com/

New hair, y'all. I miss my old, long, locks, but love that it takes me ZERO time to style any more because none of it is gross and dead!


Today was a good day of Charity. I was really tired though because I couldn't sleep a wink last night. Thankfully, I have a day of rest tomorrow so I get to just sit and review my lines and everything before starting into tech week (Oh. My. God.). We had our designer "stumble-through" which went relatively well for stumbling. I only went up on a few of my beast amount of lines and knew my choreography, which was splendid.


I'm now stalking celebrities on twitter. I've never done it before. It seems like a reasonable waste of time...

Today... a lot of things went down regarding my hair.


I woke up bright and early and went down to Beverly Hills to meet my Director to try on wigs. Boom. Within five minutes of trying them on, Charity's hair miraculously makes her appearance on my head and we're set for the show. The problem is my hair/ head. My head is MASSIVE. HUGE. One of the things I get super self-conscious about. And on top of that massive Greek head is a mop of huge, thick hair. Not ideal for hiding under wigs. So what happens? I go home and decide I want to cut some of it off. I forgot what it was like to get a significant hair cut, because my mom only took off like... 3 inches and POOF- it bounced back up to the springy, frizzy curls I've been fighting since tenth grade. Freaking out about my triangle hair, I threw a fit and took a shower. The significantly shorter (and healthier) mop is now in a towel and is going to be untouched by hot things (irons, the sun, etc.) for the next week or two. I want it to maintain its health. This means I'm going to have to get creative with the ways I style it. And so begins my new discovering of how to make my hair look good after almost two years of long hair that was easy to style.


In other news, tonight is our first run through of Sweet Charity. I'm really nervous, but bouncing with excitement. I can't believe we open in ONE WEEK! :-o

Love Me Some Charity

I really don't know what to say. Today was a fantastic day. I woke up early to go try on wigs at local shops for Charity. Damn, that bitch be hard to find the right hairstyle for! Of course it doesn't help that I have such a ginormous head... Anyway, so we found some that might work, but I have to go down the BevHills on Friday with my director to find the right one anyway. Then, I went home and reviewed all of my choreography. In the whole show. EVERYTHING! Then, I had a costume fitting, which went wonderfully (I love my costumes.) and rushed home to get ready for rehearsal and say goodbye to Jen. 


As I mentioned in my last post, she is leaving for South Africa tonight (the plane left 3 hours ago) and will arrive in Johannesburg tomorrow at 11 pm... Which is mind-blowing to me. I said goodbye to her quickly before driving away and realizing the magnitude of my sister being half-way around the world from me for three weeks. It didn't hit me until I was at the top of my street on my way to get a Peach Perfection from Jamba before my beast rehearsal. I started bawling in the car to Gavin Creel's soulful new EP, "Quiet." I drove the rest of the way in a somber, depressed manner. I already miss Jen so much. I even walked into her room and started to get teary eyed a few minutes ago. :( 
I love my sister so much.


Anyway, I successfully pulled myself together and got my Jamba. I sped over to the Pavilion to begin rehearsal. I learned a soft-shoe dance for "I Love....Weddings" in legitimately 30 seconds, then reviewed my "Brass Band" choreo, then learned a new scene, then danced and finished "Brass Band" which was a major major check off of the big list. Charity is getting easier to sit with. I'm finding the Charity in me. It's a nice feeling. Letting out all of my emotions in "Brass Band" through the seven minutes of expressive dance was... liberating. I was able to swing my arms while leaping, but then got to perform one of the cleanest, sharpest Fosse numbers every choreographed. I felt on top of the world. I almost started crying after my cast applauded when we'd finished the number and ran it twice. I was dripping (actually dripping... ew) with sweat, crouched over because of the monster cramp in my side, but wanted to cry with joy. I was excited again.... :) After a 10 minute break, we continued rehearsal as usual and went through some fine-tuning of scenes and called it a night. Molly and I went out for ice cream, then to my house to chill. I excitedly video chatted with Mark and feel so on top of the world right now, despite the forming shin splints that make me shudder every time I move my leg... yum.


Anyway, we're staging the show in the THEATER for the first time tomorrow and I could not be more excited.


I better get some sleep. 
I loved today. I want this again.

Today was much better than yesterday. I made myself the best pancakes in the world, took a ballet class and did significantly better than I thought I would after months of no ballet, and went immediately into rehearsal for Charity. The rehearsal was productive. Some of my castmates have been really supportive over the past few days, and I love them for it. They're really making me feel more and more comfortable being in such a big role and are making me feel like I might pull it off!

I'm now sitting here after a Yogurtlandsesh with my sister who is leaving for Africa tomorrow. It actually is making me a little bit nervous... I'm not sure why. I don't want to be without contact for my sisters for so long. Last summer was seven weeks, and it was unbearable.

I've just gone on an iTunes spree of like... 10 songs. (naughtynaughty me!)
It's thrilling. Tomorrow, I'm getting my wig fitted for Charity. This is the first time I've ever had to wear a wig on stage! How thrilling/annoying!


I didn't know it was possible, but the muscles in my forearms are sore right now... ?!


Quote of the day: "I think you broke my head." - Zoe Fiske
Goodnight. :)

Today was a day of frustration.
But tomorrow will be a day of growth, challenge, and success.

Dreams

I want to start posting dreams I've been having. You can decipher them for yourselves. 


The other night, I had a dream I was with a guy, "John" (it is a real person that I do know, but I want to keep this anonymous), and we were arguing about something and then I said something bitchy. I realized it was sassy and just stopped his angry walk away and hugged him for a really long time. He pulled away but I stopped him. We continued to hug. He looked at me and I said, "This is how I say I'm sorry." He kissed me said, "I'm sorry." Then walked away. It wasn't a bad thing. I was happy and woke up smiling, but I still don't get it.

Happy 234th, America.

Today is (well, was) Independence Day. I spent my 4th with friends. I woke up in the afternoon, made more cupcakes, memorized Sweet Charity lines, and went to Trapani's house for some good laughs and relaxation. 


I told Molly this last night, and she didn't believe me. I don't want to make this too obvious, but they're gone. At least I think they are. And I feel like a better, more worthy friend for it.
Anyway, today was a good day. I had good food and spent time with people that I'm not used to not seeing for weeks at a time. I can't believe I'm officially not going to school with these people any more. It's weird to think of Chadwick continuing to exist without me and my class. For some reason, it feels like we were the end of a generation.

I'm sitting here late at night, staring at the clock. I tried to make my lights dimmer to make me feel sleepier, but nothing can really stop this insomnia. My Sweet Charity script is sitting next to me, along with my keys. The juxtaposition is remarkable to me. Charity and the Norris makes me feel so frozen in my current life, while the keys with their glimmering UCLA TFT keychain make me think of all of the possibilities in my future. I'm sitting here with my heart beating with anticipation for everything coming up, but I'm still just sitting. No, I'm not working on my lines right now, and I'm not getting together stuff for UCLA. I'm just sitting here.


My friends have really been there for me in the last few years. A lot has happened in my life, and I didn't realize until last night how dependent I've been on them. I always used to say that my birthday held a curse. In the fall, I always received some bad news or had something happen to me or a loved one that I couldn't control.


In eighth grade, my Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor which basically threw my family and I to a grinding halt in our everyday lives. In ninth grade, my Grandpa passed away. In fact, I had a dream about him the other night and woke up with those chest pains I get from holding back my tears. I then spent the next half-hour in a daze of half-consciousness and heaving sobs bundled in my sheets. I've been thinking about him so much lately. I can't believe he wasn't here for my graduation... for some reason that really baffles me, and every time I think about him I feel the same pains I thought had left me a few years ago in my grieving process. In tenth grade, both of my childhood dogs passed away. Gus was gone two days after my birthday and Blue left us a few months later. It was devastating, and like with my grammmpa, I'm feeling the effects of it lately. In eleventh grade, I had surgery on my facial tumor I told you about. That was tough but I don't really feel like elaborating. In twelfth grade... I don't really remember anything bad happening. I got mono... that sucked. I was DROWNING in school work and college apps. Maybe God was giving me a break...


Anyway, the point was to reflect. My friends really have been there. Beautiful families put the effort in and cooked us dinner for WEEKS while Dad was in the hospital. They took us in. When I need to cry about something, they're there. When I need a yogurt run after a tough day, they're there. When I'm venting, they let me vent. They provide positive reinforcements and rational sounding boards for my most immature and unimportant problems. Thank God for you guys, because I don't think I could've gone through that without you. The amount of people I've hugged while sobbing is absurd. I can think of Cameron, Julianne, Justin, Molly, Jennifer, Dad, etc. The amount of people that have talked to me through my tears provide me with a small army.


Woah, I don't really know how or why that all just came up, but now I just realized I'm crying without even knowing it. I need to study my script a little before sleep.

I love you, whoever you are.

Hey guys. Sorry for the lag between posts. Sweet Charity is completely consuming my life. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing I love more than rehearsal, but it actually is completely taking over everything. Like I'm going to one of my BFF's 4th of July party late because I have to sit at home and memorize lines. And I've already missed 4 parties and many, many hours of sleep.


But I'm excited. Although today was one of the most difficult days of my life in the theater, I'm still thrilled to be there. There were moments when I thought I would lose my composure. When I thought I was done for, and when I almost gave up on myself. I almost stopped trying. I almost broke down... multiple times. But I didn't, and I'm stronger because of it. Charity is a tough role for me, because I feel that she's so unlike me. But lately, I've been feeling so vulnerable and unsure of my future that I'm reading her story and characterizing a person and part of myself that I'm becoming more and more aware of. I won't get into the dirty details, but this girl is... amazing. How she continues to remain optimistic despite her (for lack of a better word) shitty life circumstances is beyond me, but I find it admirable.

Well heya! Who knew I'd be learning something from this "stupid broad."

Anyway, as the past week of my life has been sucked up with charityCHARITYCHARITY, other things have happened to me too! For starters, my exercise regimen is actually staying on track. I go to the gym or for a run every day I don't have a 2-hour or longer dance rehearsal. I also started taking daily vitamins. I found out that Osteoporosis runs in my family, so I'm trying to really stay on top of my calcium consumption. I'm starting major planning for my wonderful single dorm room! I already posted a little sumthin-sumthin for you, but it's changed since then... same idea though... kind of. I'm also drinking a ton of water (Carsan! I learned! - [we were dehydration problem buddies on outdoor ed]). Like I feel like Rachelle because I'm peeing every hour on the hour. It's absurd... and maybe that was a little too much to say. But so I sound like I care? No.

Well... let's see. I'm currently thinking of dying a colored streak in my hair like both of my sisters. I also want to apply to be a Bruin Woods counselor in two summers. I also got my first bank account (zing) and credit card. I'm actually so anxious for college to start, it's absurd. Jake (friend who's going to be a sophomore in the UCLA MT program and is also in Sweet Charity) was teaching me some of the Tai Chi moves today during one of the moments we had where neither of us were doing anything. It was amusing and reminded me of Godspell (oh dear god). Molly and I are potentially going to NYC for five or six days. We're planning on seeing Broadway shows galore, doing the touristy stuff I still have yet to do, frolic through Central Park, Yoga in Bryant Park, maybe some master classes, and general extravagant explorations that only the MollyCaitlynConnection could concoct. I don't think that's a word, but my Mac doesn't put a little red line under it, so I suppose we're on track here. 

Anyway, I miss blogging. I miss it and hope I'll do it more often this week. 

My show opens in less than two weeks and I am FREAAAKINNN OUUUUUTTTT!!!!

OH, one last thing. I made. the.

most.

incredible.

cupcakes. 

yesterday/two days ago.

CHOCOLATE//PEANUTBUTTER.

the frosting was to die for *flips hair* just sayin...

how i feel today: