Situation: Guy likes girl. Girl likes guy. Then likes different guy. More complications intertwined. (This description used to be more specific, but I want to save SOME of my life for privacy...)
Now, I feel like my heart is being thrown around on that huge HAIR parachute and that at any moment it will smack some guy in the face and things might be okay. Not to mention that hilarious little fact that my best friend that I could always go to about this is M.I.A. for understandable reasons. I'm leaning on my girlfriends so much right now, which feels unsafe for me because of my past experiences with girlfriends. Yes, it's been three years. Yes, I should be over it... and I am, but I'm basically as cautious as possible now. Speaking of that situation, shout out to Austen's recent post, because I get you. I too get that annoying jealous/angry/"am I UNWORTHY OF YOUR LOVE?!" feeling when that stuff happens.
I'm sure to you or whoever you are, that so beautifully explained "situation" isn't a big deal. It really isn't... in the grand drama spectacle that seems to be my life, but it feels like a big thing when mounted on the 525,600 (shoot me) other things I need to be focusing on... when it really is the one thing I want to focus on. I have only a month or two left with these people... what am I going to do?
Sorry for the rant. Mark always says I shouldn't apologize for going off like this, but I feel the need to. You were probably expecting a very bubbly "LIFE IS GRAND" post that will make you barf rainbows of joy, but sadly, that is not how this one feels right now. On the brightside, you can see a not-so-perfect side to that SPRING BREAK IS LIKE... THE BEST TIME EEVAAAHHH faรงade I tricked you with. JK... I was happy as a clam until like... two days ago... :o)
Although, I did buy some new clothes today and danced for three hours... which was much needed and much enjoyed.
I'm off to Stanford tomorrow, and couldn't be more excited...
I'm nervous I'll fall head over heels in love with it...
Good. Night.
